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Author Topic: ~~~For Canadians Only  (Read 49 times)

Offline oldphart

  • Active Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 630
    • Ajax
    • Ontario
~~~For Canadians Only
« on: February 22, 2012, 11:11:21 AM »
Canadian  eh?[/font][/color][/u][/b]
After the North American Beer Festival,  all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona  sits down and says, 'Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona .'  The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The  guy from Budweiser says, 'I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King  Of Beers', a Budweiser.' The bartender gives him one..

The guy from Coors  says, 'I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a  Coors.' He gets it.

The guy from Molson Canadian sits down and says,  'Give me a Coke.' The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he  ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, 'Why aren't  you drinking a Molson's?'

The Molson Canadian president replies, 'Well,  I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I.'

A Canadian is walking  down the street with a case of beer under his arm.. His friend Doug stops him  and asks, 'Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?'

'I got it for my  wife, eh.' answers Bob..

'Oh!' exclaims Doug, 'Good  trade.
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Did  you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ?

The Newfies  were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing  them back.
[/font][/color][/font][/color][/u][/b] [/font][/color]In  Canada , we have two seasons...six months of winter and six months of poor  snowmobiling. [/font][/color][/font][/color][/u][/b] [/font][/color]One day  an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They  proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy  their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.

The  Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the  offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.  The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the  pint, yelling, 'SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!'

A Quebecer, staying in  a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.

'Black pepper,  or white pepper?' asked the concierge.

'Toilette pepper!' yelled the  Quebecer.

An  American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all  brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they  arrived.. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred  and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what  happened.

'Well,' said the American, 'I remember the crash, and then  there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were  standing at the gates of heaven. St.Peter approached us and said that we were  all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to  earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next  thing I knew I was back here'

'That's amazing!' said the one of the  doctors, 'But what happened to the other two?'

'Last I saw them,' replied  the American, 'the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting  for the government to pay his.'
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