NICKNAMES
· If Laura,  Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,  Kate and Sarah.
· If  Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each  other as Fat Boy, D%#khead and S^#t for Brains.

EATING  OUT
· When  the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even  though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller  and none will actually admit they want change back.
·  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket  calculators.

MONEY
· A man will  pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
·  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't  need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six  items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream,  razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
·  The average number of items in the typical woman's  bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of  these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has  the last word in any argument.
·  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of  a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman  worries about the future until she gets a husband.
·  A man never worries about the future until he gets  a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful  man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
·  A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 

MARRIAGE
· A woman  marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
·  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't  change, but she does.

DRESSING  UP
· A  woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the  trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
·  A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 

NATURAL
· Men wake up  as good-looking as they went to bed.
·  Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 

OFFSPRING
· Ah,  children.. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about  dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,  secret fears and hopes and dreams.
·  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living  in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should  forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the  same thing!